a quite wordy wednesday

so here's the situation: i'm sitting downstairs, by myself, in a quiet house when everyone else is asleep.  i'm at the computer (where i always am these days, trudging through work) and i begin to hear noises outside.  i try to convince myself that it's just leaves rustling in the yard, and not some masked escaped convict prowling around the place, ready to murder me.  i start to ponder strategies: do i scream?  do i make a mad dash to the kitchen to grab a steak knife?  are the steak knives in the drawer, or all still sitting in the unloaded dishwasher?  would a paring knife be a better choice? or perhaps a pair of scissors that happen to be next to me at my desk ... or a nail file ... and then i begin to think back on the self-defense class i took in college to satisfy my p.e. requirement.  i wonder where the white karate-like robe i had to buy for that class wound up, fifteen years later. 

then i hear noises that are even closer, snap out of my reverie, and finally stand up and peek over the window that overlooks my desk.  and there, directly on the other side of the window -- literally three feet away from me, with merely a brick wall separating us -- is the nastiest raccoon i've ever laid eyes on. and not only is he nasty, but he is FAT.  and why is he fat?  because he's perched in the middle of super's bowl, chowing down on the dog food she left behind after dinner, which i'm starting to realize has been going on for months now by the looks of his size XXL behind. 

i'd like to say that i was brave and took care of the problem myself.  instead, i somehow ran upstairs with my toes curled in my slippers, aroused my poor husband out of a deep sleep, and made him take care of the thing.  which he did simply by flashing the porch light and rattling the door knob a few times.  (my hero.)

but that vile creature didn't sprint off the porch.  no, he just kind of casually glanced up at us, hauled his fat hiney out of the bowl, and sauntered out through the ripped screen on the porch door.  (chris must have repaired that thing a dozen times, and always, within twenty-four hours it's back to being ripped again.  we've been blaming super all this time.  falsely accused AND robbed of her food to boot -- poor pooch.)   i'm surprised the raccoon could squeeze his body through the slats after gorging himself on the iams, but he did, and then had the audacity to linger on the steps, obviously waiting for us to leave him alone so he could return to the scene of the crime and lick the bowl clean.

anyway, rather than focus on this disgusting chain of events, i'll choose to share pictures of our recent family outing to a pumpkin farm.  you'll see that the farm has added tons of things to do, from slingshots to cornhole to zip lines to tractor rides.  we had so much fun; so, you see?  there are even more things that i like about halloween than just the steady supply of candy.

come to think of it, i better make sure there isn't any candy sitting on the back porch.  with the dog food, the raccoon's a nuisance.  but if that thing were to get into my butterfingers, well, i might just have to go buy myself a rifle and become the redneck woman i was born to be.  no one messes with my the kids' chocolate.

corn maze

rolling around

liam hit the target with his very first try

ours went maybe two feet

 zip line!  that thing was fast

each "car" had a different name -- how fitting that the last one available was Susie Q (chris's nickname for susanna)

and, as they say, a good time was had by all

go take a hike

anyone who knows me knows that i'm not an outdoorswoman by any stretch of the imagination.  i love nature and marvel at God's creation and celebrate the plants and animals near me -- all through the window.  i will never go camping, so if our children ever have any hope of pitching a tent and sleeping under the stars, they better warm up to chris because i prefer to be snug in my bed with the heat on.

but, in an effort to compromise, i came up with the brilliant idea last weekend that we should take a family hike.  i actually enjoy walking through the woods every now and then, and as long as i'm not too far away from civilization, i knew we would have fun.  so chris did a little bit of research and printed out a map of a nearby park, and once we were dressed fairly warmly and in comfortable shoes, we set out for our adventure.

and what an adventure it turned out to be; one that i'm sure liam and susanna will be talking about for years to come.  it all started with the ill-fated decision to allow the kids to choose which trail we were going to take.  we'd started on what was basically a gravel road -- no cars allowed, but quite cleared and flat.   but liam felt like we should be doing something a bit more interesting, so at our first crossroads, he chose to take us left onto a path that was marked Loblolly Trail.

we consulted our map and surmised that it was about a two-mile walk.  it was 3:00 pm and the time had not yet changed, so we figured we'd be back at the car well before it started to get dark.  we took twists and turns, walked over bridges and over roots, stepped on rocks and climbed up hills.  (upon further scrutiny we learned that we were on one of the few trails labeled "moderate" instead of "easy".)  the kids LOVED it.  liam was the leader and susanna was the scout (not really quite sure the difference, but they relished their roles) and they always made sure we were following the blue squares nailed into the trees that guided us on our way.  "I SEE THE BLUE SQUARE!" they'd chime together.  we collected leaves and threw rocks into the creeks and talked about the animal sounds around us.

it was fun, for the first 45 minutes or so.  but then their little legs started to tire.  and soon, they started wondering how much longer we'd be walking.  shoot, i started wondering how much longer we'd be walking.  the map was of no help, and neither were the people we encountered coming from the other direction.  "are we close to the road?" liam would ask each one.  "oh, no, honey," they'd reply, "you've got a ways to go."  i tried to remain upbeat, telling the kids, "oh, i think we're almost there!", or, "it looks like the end is at the top of the hill!"  but after four or five times doing this, chris turned around and with gritted teeth requested that i knock it off.  seemed his patience was wearing as thin as the kids'.

we finally, FINALLY came to the end of the trail, which deposited us back on the gravel road where we'd begun three hours prior -- or so we thought.  we looked left.  we looked right.  we looked at the map.  and nothing looked familiar.  we asked a biker, and he gave us a quizzical look and basically told us that we were actually not where we had started at all. 

this is why i hate the outdoors, i thought.  dadgum nature.

the kids, at this point, were done.  they were exhausted, they were thirsty, and they were simply not interested in hiking any farther.  we assessed the situation and came up with two solutions: one, chris could turn around and retrace our steps for about a mile, find the car, and come pick us up.  or two, we could flag someone down in the parking area and hopefully catch a ride.  seemed that chris was also exhausted and thirsty and simply not interested in hiking any farther, because he chose option #2.

he approached a little gray VW that was leaving the parking lot and asked the driver to roll down her window.  she seemed a bit confused -- who wouldn't be, with a strange man flagging you down? -- so i joined him with the kids to show her that he was safe; simply a father whose family had gotten a little off course.  turned out that her confusion primarily rested on the fact that she was french and did not understand english all that well.  but she smiled, said that she would be happy to help us, and invited all four of us to pile in.  i could have kissed her.

she asked chris to use her GPS, and it turned out that we were so off course that the only way to get back was on the interstate.  so there we were, chris in the front seat and me with the kids in the back, and my imagination started running wild.  what have we gotten ourselves into?... we're essentially hitchhiking with this french woman named gayle we've known for all of two minutes in a rented car ... she obviously has no idea where she's going or how our highways work ... do the french even drive on the right side of the road?  oh thank goodness i think they do ... i'm in the back seat with my two children and no car seats ...  we're going to be rear-ended by someone because europeans do not know how to drive on american interstates and we're going to wind up on the side of the road and the paramedics will find us and the only person who has any sort of i.d. on her is gayle ... they're going to wonder who these other people are ... when will someone report us missing? ... and more importantly, what parents allow their 4- and 6-year olds to ride in the back of a compact car without any car seats? ...  it will make the newspapers and everyone we know will remark how horrible we are as parents and i just hope we have a chance to explain what happened because we're not normally this irresponsible and i will never, ever go hiking again.

needless to say, we survived.  we arrived back at our car, safe and sound, and profusely thanked that angel named gayle for the additional thirty minutes she spent ferrying us around raleigh on her saturday afternoon. we will go hiking again ... we'll just make absolutely sure we know where we're going next time around.

yeah, for that day, i'd have to say that hiking wasn't all that it was CRACKed up to be.   

(sorry, i just couldn't resist.)

wordless wednesday

here it is: the obligatory halloween photograph post.  a woefully lacking halloween post, however.  these are, literally, the only three pictures i took related to halloween 2010.   let me assure you ... we DID actually pick pumpkins (and not just stand in front of some.)  we DID carve them.  we DID attend parties.  we DID trick-or-treat.  liam DID come home, just like you will see susanna did, and count his loot.  we DID eat some lots and lots of candy.

but you'd never know any of that from the sad collection of photos i have of halloween 2010.  so you'll just have to take my word for it.

i laugh at myself sometimes ... a while ago, i did quite a bit of research on high-end digital SLR cameras.  seems everyone i know has one of those bad boys and they post these beautiful pictures on facebook that really capture their children so well.  gotta have me one of those! i thought.  but once i started really thinking about it, i just don't think i'm the photographing type.  almost every single picture i've ever shared on this blog was taken with my iphone.  i don't even value photography enough to remember to put my teeny tiny easy-to-carry digital camera in my purse.  so why in the sam hill would i need a $500 canon to lug around?

although i do have to say that if there were ever a time i could justify the expense, it would be after this halloween.  the grand total i spent on both of our children's costumes: $1.47.  (and that was for susanna's bandanna, which has now found a new purpose around super's neck.)

someone, please remind me next year to take some pictures.

 we picked four pumpkins this day.  trust me, they were pretty.

 the soccer player and the cowgirl, setting out for some trick-or-treat action

yes, my artistic child actually arranged her candy in concentric ovals

wordless wednesday

the fair, the fair, the unforgettable fair / north carolina comes to life with the unforgettable fair! 

(if you grew up in the raleigh area in the 1980s, you totally remember that commercial.  if you didn't, well, you weren't missing much.)

we braved the record-breaking crowds last week and took the kids to the fair.  the weather was perfect, we found close free parking, saw a great magician, rode almost all the kiddie rides without having to wait in line, and inhaled some really unhealthy but delicious food.  and got in some really interesting people-watching to boot.

thankfully, susanna just made the height requirement for every ride they wanted to do

who says "glee" is just the name of a tv show?

 three of the fair food groups: cotton candy, ice cream, and funnel cakes

the only thing we didn't do: try the 1500-calorie krispy kreme doughnut burger.  we wanted to live to see the 2011 fair.

wordless wednesday

aaah, the north carolina state fair. i would've loved to just park myself on a bench and people watch all day long ... alas, there were too many rides to ride, too many games to play, and too many cholesterol-laden foods to eat. we all had a blast for our first-ever family fair visit, but i understand why it only occurs once a year. it's going to take us a full 365 days to recover. perhaps by then i will have finally digested those deep-fried oreos that i inhaled, leaving me room for the delicacy featured in the final photo below.

the rides! the kids were fearless on the roller coaster. we all enjoyed the swings, although we were smart to wait until afterwards to eat.

the food! turkey legs, ice cream, corn dogs. vitamins and nutrients are so overrated.

and the perfect combination of sweet & savory ... it's things like this that make me proud to be a southerner.

wordless wednesday

we enjoyed an absolutely spectacular hike along the blue ridge parkway with great friends on sunday. and let me tell you, being in the mountains on a clear, sunny autumn afternoon when the leaf changing is almost at its peak is just about as close to heaven as you can get. (which is high praise, coming from a beach lover who's not terribly fond of hiking to begin with.)

above: susanna and marshall, before they pooped out and rode on their dads' shoulders. below: liam and web led the way, as older brothers are wont to do.

it doesn't take much

we saw snow three times yesterday. three times! in november! in raleigh! it seemed to follow us wherever we went, first causing quite a stir in the parking lot as we left gymnastics; then again as we waited for our flu shots (thank you, God, for the distraction); and once more as we pulled into our driveway. each time, there was a whirlwind of flurries for about 45 seconds or so, before it died down completely. still, it was more than enough to get the kids pulsating with excitement. i took a picture to document this monumental event, since we just don't get much snow in north carolina in november. (to be honest, we just don't get much snow in north carolina, period. we lived in the mountains for five years and liam has yet to make a real snowman.) i grabbed the camera as quickly as i could, but we only managed to get to the edge of the deck (hence the scenic background of our half-covered grill) before it was gone. the picture doesn't do our blizzard justice -- but the looks on the kids' faces says it all.

leaves add up

4 year old boy in a huge pile of leaves + a lost pair of shoes somewhere in that pile = a very, very long search hard-working husband with a fear of heights + wife who has no fear of heights

= wife walking on top of the roof, cleaning out the gutters with a blower a yard FULL of trees + autumn = calloused hands, aching backs, and a sense all this work might be a tad futile

pumpkin imperfection

we carved our pumpkins last night. it was one of those times where chris and i got super excited in anticipation of the event, hyped it up to the kids ... and it flopped. liam preferred riding his bike all around the deck, giving us a sideways glance now and then, and susanna was totally grossed out by the gooey innards and wanted nothing to do with it. of course, you'd never know their lack of interest from the picture. amazing how they can perk right up when all the dirty work is done, making it look like they were quite the involved participants! i wish that i could say that liam was laughing hysterically at my creative jack o'lantern design, along with everyone else who stops by. alas, no one is really getting it. i guess not everyone channels their inner math geek like i do. chalk the entire experience up to a disappointment. what's the halloween form of the phrase "bah humbug"?

a study in contrasts

just a few contrasts between the last presidential election and this current one, at least on the super small scale of sara mann ... 2004: i voted in the final hours on election day 2008: i voted eight days early 2004: my voting companion was a sleeping 2 1/2-month old son 2008: my voting companion was a very-much-awake 2 1/2-year old daughter 2004: i voted in the united order of masons building, which had absolutely nothing interesting to look at while i waited 2008: hooray! voting in the local mall! what could be better? 2004: chris and i cancelled each other out (as we have also done in 1996, 1998, 2000, 2002, and 2006) 2008: chris and i agree! will wonders never cease? it only took chris and me twelve years to find some common political ground. maybe there's hope for some congressional bi-partisanship yet.

voting irony

life, as they say, is full of ironies. one prime example would be my voting history. i can vividly remember discussing current politics in my ninth grade social studies class and our teacher pointing out that the next time election day arrived, we'd all be able to exercise our civic duty and vote. at the time, the mere thought was thrilling. we tittered at our desks excitedly, thinking of the distant future, when we'd be adults and full-fledged citizens and off doing far more important things than sitting in a trailer being taught social studies by the football coach. and then, of course, it hit me: i would actually be six weeks shy of being old enough to vote in the 1992 election. as with anything bad that happens to a teenager, it was all my parents' fault; i cursed them for making me skip a grade and thereby inserting me into a peer group in which i'd always be the youngest, and swore that i would never inflict such pain on a child of my own. i cried myself to sleep that night -- melodrama was my middle name -- but by the next morning, it was forgotten. our social studies class had moved on to discuss the upcoming friday night game and the makeup of the judicial system (in that order) and i never gave it another thought. by the time 1992 actually rolled around, i graduated from high school and, on a hot day in mid-august, drove the three hours up to virginia to begin my freshman year at the university of richmond. besides being consistently rated as the most beautiful college campus in the country [i can see chris rolling his eyes now, as i remind him yet again of this fact], UR had the national spotlight for a week that fall. on october 15, 70 million people tuned in to watch george bush sr., bill clinton, and ross perot battle it out in the very first town-hall format presidential debate ever, all from our own small (but beautiful, mind you) campus. so the irony of it is, of course, that in the midst of this monumental event, where the national media descended upon us, where we walked past famous news anchors with their microphones and cameras, where we witnessed three powerful men and their secret service agents and bodyguards and entourages walk mere yards away from us, where the entire student body was rife with interest and opinions and emotions that somehow ego-centric college student bodies believe are theirs alone (and nowhere more so than where such an event is taking place) ... well, the irony is that i couldn't vote. on election day, i happened to find myself in the registrar's office, begging for mercy so i could drop my physics-for-majors class. really, just because you're a math major does not mean you should be a physics major, and whoever thought that if you're good in math then you must also good in science had obviously never met me, and i was pretty much drowning: this was my argument. (i could go on, but suffice it to say my pleas fell on deaf ears, i stuck it out, and wound up with a C+, which was the lowest grade i ever received in college. truth be told, i think it had to do as much with my lack of scientific prowess as it did with the fact that it was an 8:15 a.m. class, including fridays, which shouldn't even be legal.) anyway, in the middle of this futile conversation the registrar woman glanced down at my records, paused, and then informed me that to the best of her knowledge, i was the only student at the university of richmond who was not old enough to vote. "isn't that ironic?" she chuckled, as she gestured toward a copy of the college newspaper with a picture of the three candidates on the front page. i walked back to my dorm that afternoon, dejected for being forced to remain in this awful class, and then even more dejected since i was the only person within a five-mile radius without an "i voted" oval sticker proudly displayed on my shirt. ever since then, i have voted. i went to excruciating lengths to vote two years later while living in spain, when there wasn't even a glamorous or exciting national election to follow. i mailed off my absentee ballot across the atlantic and wore my very first "i voted" sticker, which -- here's a last bit of irony -- hardly anyone around me could even translate. but i did all of this. there's just something about being told you cannot do something that really makes you want to do it. i hope i never forget that sense of frustration. minorities and women dealt with that frustration for far too long for me to take it lightly now. no, i'll never forget my right and my duty as an american citizen. come hell or high water, i will always be a voter.

picking pumpkins

there's nothing quite like making a trip out to the renowned local farm in the fall. a chance to enjoy a hayride, feed some goats, ride a diesel engine train around the property, and, of course, pick that Perfect Pumpkin ... all while breathing the crisp, cool autumn air and staying warm in a thick jacket with a mug of hot apple cider.

or -- wait. not exactly. i mean, we did all those above things on sunday, and had a grand time. but it was 83 degrees. global warming? indian summer? whatever you call it ... it was just plain HOT. and it's really hard to get into the spirit of the season when it feels more like the fourth of july than halloween. when we get around to carving our jack o'lanterns, i think mine is going to have a bikini on.