i'll start with susanna. susanna wants hers long. i've tried to explain to her that long lengths work well for people who actually have some body in their hair. we, of course, do not. so hers winds up looking like a stringy mess much of the time -- just check out her yearbook picture from last year and i dare you to disagree.
my beautiful angel, no doubt -- but her tresses need a good chop
last summer, as i yanked her comb through the way-too-long sandy-and-salty mess after yet another day of ocean swimming, she finally caved. "fine," she sighed. "i'll get it cut." i celebrated and even confirmed with lainey, who was sitting with us, that she had indeed heard the same words i had. i needed back-up in case susanna claimed to not remember making such a statement. and then as soon as we returned home to raleigh, we headed to the salon.
i marched up to the front desk, eager to put her name on the list. by the time i sat down next to her in the waiting room, i could tell her confidence was wavering, as the waterworks had begun. "i've changed my mind," she whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks. "this is not a good idea."
oh, but it was! how cute she was going to look with a bob! how much easier it would be to manage! she was going to love it -- i just knew it, and she would surely thank me later for standing my ground. and so there she sat in the swivel chair, silently sobbing as about six inches hit the floor. she refused to even look at herself in the mirror when it was all over. (i tipped the stylist extra that day. eight-year old girl drama can turn expensive.)
when we got home, i couldn't wait for chris to marvel at her new look and help build her up. instead, she hightailed it to her room and came down with a shirt over her head, defiantly refusing to let anyone see her new 'do. "I AM THE UGLIEST GIRL ON THE PLANET!" she wailed as i rinsed off asparagus in the kitchen sink. "NO -- NOT JUST THE PLANET! THE UNIVERSE! I AM UGLIER THAN ALIENS!" she paused for a moment to ask what i was preparing for dinner. when i replied that we'd be having grilled shrimp, what was already a mind-blowing tirade escalated to levels i had never before seen. "FIRST I TURN INTO THE UGLIEST GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE AND THEN I HAVE TO EAT SHRIMP FOR DINNER! THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A WORSE DAY LIVED BY ANYONE!"
and i did the one thing no caring, concerned mother should ever do. i looked at my pint-sized force, her eyes blazing, face red, hands on her hips, with an inside-out t-shirt wrapped around her forehead ... and i giggled.
and then -- well, then it got real. "SOMETIMES I THINK I HATE YOU!"
ouch.
okay, so not only did i giggle --
but i also took a picture to commemorate the event.
no wonder she was livid
but i also took a picture to commemorate the event.
no wonder she was livid
the men of the house had different reactions. liam, who was an unfortunate spectator in all of this, came running to my side. "mommy, are you okay? i love you. i'm sure she didn't mean it." (he was so traumatized by the exchange of words that he brought it up as much as a week later to make sure i wasn't emotionally scarred. i wound up assuring him that mothers and daughters sometimes do this sort of thing and that everything was going to be fine.) chris, who didn't have the pleasure of living this event firsthand, said, "well, sara, you laughed at her. i can't say i blame her." (and that was his response to MY retelling. who knows how he would have felt if he had heard susanna's version?)
her hair has been cut only once since that fateful day last july, and only a small trim. so it's back to being long and stringy -- just the way she likes it.
and now, for liam. liam, on the other hand, always wants his SHORT. like,
so i'm finally getting around to the purpose of this post: i have found the perfect solution, and that solution is st. baldrick's. magellan is the top local fundraiser for this important charity year after year, with roughly a fourth of all the boys at the school getting their heads shaved to raise money for cancer research. and the girls have joined in the fun, with a bunch of them donating their hair to locks of love. so THIS will be the answer to all of my PHPs (Parenting Hair Problems)! once a year, in march, liam will go bald ... and will spend the next six months growing it back to a length of my liking. and starting in 2016, every march, susanna will get hers chopped ... and spend the next twelve months growing it back to a length of her liking. why i didn't think of this for the 2015 event, i will never know.
but the best part of all? neither of our children have declared hatred on me since. (at least, that i know of. small victories.)
a roar of approval from the newly shorn liam
