my Grand Idea

every once in a while, i have a Grand Idea. an idea that i feel certain could make me millions -- if i could just turn it into reality. the woman who came up with those jibbitz things (you know, that go into the holes of crocs) must have felt the same way. i guess the slight difference is that she actually did make millions. but no matter. my newest Grand Idea is the declining bowling lane. with a push of a button, the front part of the lane, starting at the foul line, would rise to a predetermined angle, in effect causing the lane as a whole to slowly decline from start to finish. this would ensure that even the most gingerly tapped ball would actually reach the pins. i came up with my Grand Idea as i was being reprimanded by the shift manager at the local bowling alley on sunday. susanna had, for the second time, rolled (and i use this term loosely) her ball with such little force that it ... just ... ever ... so ... slowly ... stopped. it got a little momentum from bumping against the rails that i'm sure some other mother, decades ago, came up with as her Grand Idea to prevent gutter balls -- but it just wasn't enough. chris and i had assisted the kids as much as humanly possible to get their balls to their destination (see pictures), but there's really only so much you can do when you're working with a two-year old. so we four watched susanna's ball come to a stop, and then contemplated our options. we were too embarrassed to bother the staff again, so chris suggested i just send another ball down the lane to bump into susanna's ball. problem solved. anyone with half a brain can figure out the outcome of this ingenious solution. susanna's ball, having been knocked, reached the pindeck and triggered the sweeping mechanism to begin to clear the pins. my ball, a few seconds behind, then ricocheted off the sweeper with a large metal THUD and came careening back towards us. ironically, it came to rest in the exact same spot where all the trouble began in the first place. presentation is key with all Grand Ideas, so i'm still working out the kinks of my declining bowling lane. it needs a catchy name, and i figure there's probably some science involved in the design -- my sister's PhD in physics might be useful. recognizing that it needs more development, i did not share with the shift manager my Grand Idea, and just meekly apologized to him instead as he marched down to retrieve my ball for the second time. i figure i can head back sometime next week with the pitch. i'm telling you, i'm going to make millions.