snort

if you'd ever like to see a walking, breathing, living example of spring allergies, look no further than liam mann.  watery eyes?  check.  runny nose?  yep.  eczema around the eyes and nose because of constant rubbing?  of course.  chapped lips, cough, and fatigue due to restless nights?  yes, yes, and yes. 

i'm not a big believer in medicine.  i take my epilepsy medication on a daily basis because if i didn't, i wouldn't be allowed by the state of north carolina to own a driver's license, but other than that, i tend to balk at drugs.  i just don't like putting foreign stuff like that in my body.  it goes hand-in-hand with body piercings in the convoluted world of the sara mann philosophy.

but i finally caved in with liam.  after listening to the poor child blowing his raw little nose at all hours of the night, and walking into his room in the morning to find hundreds of balled up wet tissues littering his floor, i realized that it was time to take him to the pediatrician.  and sure enough, she deemed him one of the worst cases of seasonal allergies she had seen this year -- which is saying a lot, since she said she had seen about sixty kids in the past week with the same issues -- and prescribed claritin and flonase. 

which reminds me.  in my next life, i'm going to come back and name prescription drugs for a living, because surely i could do better than "flonase".   around here, we've started teasing poor liam (we are a sensitive bunch, aren't we?) by cackling, "SNORT!" each time he attempts to suck up all that runny snot and bypass the tissue box.  so i think i shall name my new prescription drug Snort Abort.  quite catchy, no?  i already have the commercial planned out: a cute six year old blond boy, yearning to play outside, who cannot because of the pollen.  and then he takes a whiff of Snort Abort, and he can now enjoy his backyard play area!  and his father, also riddled with the same woes, can now enjoy working on his SUV!  and his sister, holding a racket, can now play tennis!  yes, the tag line might look like this:

SNORT ABORT

to enjoy your fort ...

or your carport ...

or the tennis court ...

or things of all sorts!

hmm.  maybe i need to stick with teaching.  regardless, liam could be the poster child for Snort Abort.  he's just the cutest miserable little guy i've ever seen, if i do say so myself.

please, no retorts.