public restrooms gross me out. i avoid them at all costs, and when i do have to use them, i'm one of those weird OCD people who uses a paper towel to open the door upon exiting because you just never know what person before you did not wash their hands and therefore left their nasty germs all over the door handle. in fact, i'm so weird about public restrooms that i went all four years of high school without ever setting foot into one.
so God really decided to have a chuckle when he gave me a girl. because when you have a five-year old daughter on a long road trip, it's just about impossible to avoid public restrooms.
i try my hardest to hold my nose and to ignore the sights of the restrooms in the fast food restaurants or rest areas that we inevitably have to visit every time we're on the highway for more than two hours, since i certainly don't want to pass along my issues to my daughter. i keep my admonitions to a minimum as i watch her clamber up the nasty toilet seat and fidget to get in a comfortable position, cringing inwardly as i try to convince myself that if we scrub her hands super well then she might just survive.
yesterday, we drove back from our week in the mountains with my dear friend lainey and her two boys. chris had returned home a few days prior (what a pain that thing called work can be!), so when susanna needed to use the bathroom at the hardee's where we'd stopped to use their outdoor picnic tables to eat our PB&Js, liam had to tag along.
i stepped gingerly over a stagnant puddle in the middle of the floor, not allowing myself to even consider what liquid it might be, and shepherded my two charges into the handicapped stall. handicapped stalls are great because of the extra room; they're not so great because the toilets are higher off the ground, necessitating even more climbing than usual. liam went first, with minimal contact -- i watched in admiration as he actually avoided touching the thing with any part of his body. he's even mastered the art of flushing with his foot ... what a proud day that was for me! but as soon as he finished, it was susanna's turn. and it was there that susanna sat, bazillions of invisible germs surely swarming her soft clean skin, with a thoughtful look on her face.
"i know why boys stand when they go pee-pee, but girls sit," she informed us.
i glanced at liam, wondering how much of a secret lesson in anatomy he might have given his younger sister, as we had just recently discussed this very issue. but he seemed quite interested in her answer, so, with a little trepidation, i asked her to explain.
"it's because we girls like to think about things a lot, so if we want to take a little rest while we go pee-pee, we can. if i was standing, i really wouldn't want to relax, but since i'm sitting, i can! isn't that great?"
yes, sweetheart. it's great. you go ahead and take your sweet time on the hardee's toilet, soaking in the atmosphere while i stare down at the gunk at the base of the sink, my toes curling in my shoes. just don't forget to use a paper towel on the door handle on your way out.
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