Wednesday, November 12, 2008

catalog complaint


dear toy manufacturers and vendors, 
 
congratulations! you've done it. you've obviously been working feverishly since last december 26, finding all the perfect gifts that no preschooler could possibly be without, and your efforts have paid off. what generous spirits you must have, to feel compelled to impart this wisdom on helpless parents by bombarding our mailboxes until they're filled to the brim with your bright, shiny, enticing catalogs! a pat on the back for enlightening my children about how poor and destitute they are, by sharing images of all the fun they COULD be having if they just owned ... those walkaroo sticks! that remote-control dog that barks and dances! that drift cars street team kit with a special carrying case free with purchase! i owe you a debt of gratitude for reducing my children's vocabularies to four simple words: "I WANT THESE, MOMMY" (repeat 570 times between now and dinner) while somehow at the same time increasing their voices in volume several decibels. you've just really outdone yourself. 
 
yes, you certainly have succeeded in providing countless hours of entertainment for my children. in fact, you've given me the best idea of all! i think i'll just wrap a few of your catalogs in pretty paper with a bow on top, put them in the kids' stockings, and call it a day. 
 
sincerely, sara mann

4 comments:

Leslie Atkins said...

I remember doing that with the Sears catalog each Christmas-- I still remember the smell of the catalog (really!), and how the sections were color-coded so it was easy to find the toys (usually in the back, maybe green tabs?).

Christopher Mann said...

the Sears catalog?!?! i thought they stopped sending those out circa-1965. or, was that another trick your parents played on you...just pulling out the 1950s catalog every year so you guys could pick out old toys, thinking they were brand-spanking-new?

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh...I am getting the same comments every single day. I want this Mommy! Add this to my list Mommy! Last year, Maddy got presents, played with them for about a week, and hasn't touched them since. How do we explain to them how absolutely lucky they are????

Julie Bell

Anonymous said...

I remember someone in our household basicaly copying down the entire toy section of the BEST catalog, and then stapling it together to take to Santa. Wonder whatever happened to that kid...