nature vs. nurture

years ago, i was offered a teaching position at an amazing private middle school in asheville that groups their students in single-sex classes for almost all subjects. although i ultimately declined the position because of having a toddler at home and one on the way, i did read the book why gender matters that the principal gave me at our interview. i found it so fascinating that a short while later, i drove an hour to see the author, leonard sax, speak at an educational conference. to sum up a 300+ page book in a simple sentence, there is an avalanche of research that proves that boys and girls learn in completely different ways because of biology, and not because of the way they are raised. we're fortunate to have both a boy and a girl, because we have a house full of toys that cater to both. susanna has certainly been surrounded by her fair share of trains and balls since birth. meanwhile, liam is quite the compliant tea party participant and can whip up a mean fake blueberry muffin in our play kitchen. but despite their exposure to opposite-sex interests, they always gravitate toward the traditional. i thought of all of this last week. susanna had her boyfriend davis, also two years old, here for a playdate. they're finally at the age that they can entertain each other so well that my presence isn't even needed much of the time, so i took the opportunity to empty the dishwasher and make the beds, while they played and played and played. at one point, i left them in liam's room zooming his matchbox cars around his parking garage as i ran to answer the phone. when i returned a few minutes later, they were in susanna's room, consumed with her dollhouse. i just had to laugh at the scene i encountered. susanna was the epitome of a little girl with a dollhouse: she had the baby girl figurine in the mommy's lap on the flowered couch in the dollhouse nursery, rocking the baby to sleep. and a mere foot away, davis was quite busy himself. there he was, lording over the manor, armed with the daddy and boy baby. the two male dolls were grilling up some burgers with the plastic barbecue set -- on top of the bright pink roof. if the dollhouse collection had included a couple of tiny bottles of budweiser, there's no doubt they would've been slugging them back as well. nature vs. nurture ... was there honestly ever a question?