wordless wednesday

the most recent addition to our backyard -- if you don't count dandelions and dog poop -- is our brand-new hammock.  the first thing the kids want to do upon returning from preschool is race out there and climb in, giggling with delight as they rock back and forth in the warm spring breeze and stare up at the sky. 

ironically, the afternoon chris put it up, i was informed by liam that it was an early mother's day present.  and while a few friends have laughed at the story -- a hammock?  for mother's day? -- i actually think it's quite genius.  assuming, of course, that it comes with an hour or so of quiet solitude, while i rock back and forth in the warm spring breeze and stare up at the sky.

bliss.

why i teach

i haven't really written much about my job this year, mostly because it's kind of hard to explain.  in fact, after i mention that i work, conversations often go like this:

inquisitive person: "what do you do?"

me: "i teach high school math."

I.P.: "where?"

me:  "out of my guest room, actually.   online."

I.P.:  "how does that work?"

and then this is where the conversation kind of falls apart, because unless you actually see it in action, it's hard to describe.  but i'll try.  our school system has equipped ten of us with a laptop and our own blackboard webpage, which is an asynchronous site my students can access whenever they wish.  i load homework assignments, quizzes, projects, tests, powerpoint presentations, and video tutorials (made my our textbook publisher, not by me, thankfully) and the kids can submit their work to me. 

i was also given a webcam, writing tablet, and headset, which come into play for our live class, which i teach monday through thursday afternoons for a little over an hour a day.  my students (my roster is now upwards of 30) log on at 2:45 wearing their own headsets, and together, we navigate the pre-algebra curriculum, working on problems on what we call the "e-board" and going through concepts that should be familiar to them but often are not.  i spend countless hours finding super cool (at least, i think so) websites that help teach these concepts in fun or interesting ways.  there are lots of free games and applets out there that help make things as interactive as possible.

it's worth mentioning that this program, which began this year, serves the school system's population of long-term suspended students.  in other words, my clientele is made up of students who have been expelled from school, having done something so serious that they are not allowed back into a brick-and-mortar building until next fall.  it's my job to keep them motivated, keep them educated, and keep them attending class.  no easy feat, considering that most of them really don't like learning to begin with.  it's been especially challenging for me, since my nine years of previous experience involved teaching at affluent schools with highly motivated kids and involved families.  i had whatever supplies i needed, and support from my administration, fellow faculty members, and parents.  when that kind of foundation, forging relationships with my students and inspiring them came rather easily.  this job is far from that.  i've learned way more about the bloods and the crips gangs than i ever thought i would.  i don't even ask what my students did to get into this spot they're in because i really don't want to know, but i'm pretty sure many of them were arrested for weapons or drugs or violence.  and when i have to cajole many of them to turn in even one morsel of work, i often find myself wondering if what i'm doing is actually making a difference.  i've asked myself on more than one occasion, what is the point of this?  why do i teach?

so after this long lead-in, i'm finally getting around to the point of this post.  i have a student who joined our class in late march.  we were conversing back and forth in the private text box, and she mentioned that she might be missing class for a little while in mid-april.  "my due date is april 10," she wrote.

i'm certainly no proponent of teenage motherhood, but my number one goal is to reach these kids on any level i can.  so i asked her if there was anything she needed; we have tons of baby stuff still stored away in our attic that i'd be happy to give her.  she thanked me, but said she was all set with the items she still had from when her two-year old was born.  which means that she became a mother at the tender age of fourteen.

wow.

we were off for a week for spring break, and the first day back, there she was, logged in at 2:45 and ready to start.  i typed to her, asking if she had had her baby.  "i'm being induced at 6 pm today," she replied.  i wished her a healthy delivery and figured i might not see her again for a while.

but the next day, at 2:45, i actually did a double-take when i saw her username pop up on the screen.  sure enough, there she was -- laptop by her side in her hospital bed, newborn sleeping in a crib next to her.  and while many of my kids have the tendency to log in at the beginning and then wander off for much of the class, she was with me the whole time, participating, even volunteering to solve a proportion problem on the e-board.

as we finished the class that afternoon, i spoke with her over our headsets.  "i'm so impressed that you were here today," i told her.  "i can't believe you had a baby less than 24 hours ago and still managed to show up from your hospital room and participate and do the classwork."

"oh miz mann," she replied, "i need this.  i need to finish high school.  i got to show my kids that school's important.  i don't want them making the same mistakes i made.  and i know i don't do that good in math, but i'm trying hard.  i'm learning.  i'm doing the best i can."

and that -- well, that is why i teach.

wordless wednesday

two weekends in a row, and two major sporting events.  this is what chris calls bliss.  this is what i call "can-i-get-a-draft-beer-while-i-talk-with-my-friends?" way to pass the time.  susanna's on my wavelength; while in a private deck at the durham bulls game, she was most interested in running around with her ring pop attached to her finger and dancing with her playmates.  liam, on the other hand, sat in his seat, his eyes glued to the field, peppering chris with questions that i had no idea how to answer.  i really need a crash course in how sports work, or the next ten or so years are going to be awfully confusing to me.

the kids had just had their faces painted prior to the UNC blue vs. white football game.   i stopped the artist before she put that signature black spot on the heel -- does any three year old girl, decked out in a frilly white dress and carolina blue sweater, really need black paint on her cheek?

meeting the Blue Monster at the durham bulls game.  there's also a bull mascot running around, so i'm not quite sure what the point of having a Blue Monster is, but the kids seemed pretty excited.  (note the vintage brooklyn dodgers baseball cap liam's wearing, straight from chris's childhood closet.)

donuts with dads

last thursday, liam's preschool class invited all the dads to come to school for donuts.  turns out chris was in for a real treat: not only donuts, but orange juice!  and a painted paperweight!  and a cool necktie made out of construction paper!  and -- best of all -- some musings about him, 5-year old style.

below is what liam wrote about his daddy.  some parts are surprisingly accurate.  some, not so much.

ABOUT MY DAD, BY LIAM

My daddy’s name is Chris. He is 35 years old, weighs “somewhere in the 150-170s” pounds and is 5 feet tall. His hair is blond and his eyes are blue. My dad loves to relax by talking. He likes to wear his work shirt while he is resting. He loves to cook meat and rice and his favorite food is potatoes. My dad’s job is “working on his computer”. His favorite chore is cleaning up the kitchen. His favorite t.v. show is “a little bit of cartoons”. Daddy always tells me “I love you.” It makes him happy when he plays with me. When my dad goes shopping, he loves to buy clothes. If he could go on a trip he would go to the Bahamas and he would take a boat. I really love it when he tells me jokes.

[you learn so much from your kids.  who knew i was married to a clothes horse who loves to clean the kitchen and watch cartoons?   the one thing i was hoping liam could shed some light on is just what it is a senior project manager does all day.  "working on his computer" is exactly what i tell people whenever they ask me.]

wordless wednesday

to a three year old girl, what could be better than dressing up as a princess?  or as a flower? or as a pirate? or as a ballerina? or as a fairy (in a weird spider print that was marked at $2.99 on the clearance rack?)  or sneakily applying blush to your cheeks by scrawling on them with a permanent pink marker? 

why, doing all of the above at the same time, of course.

stars in her eyes

there's a framed cross-stitch that hangs in my brother's room at my parents' house that's been there for decades.  my mom made it, following a pattern that resonated with her and now resonates with me.  it's of a little boy and his father, carrying their fishing poles, with the following verse beside them: "men are only boys grown tall.  hearts don't change much, after all."

this bit of poetry fits our family of four as much as it did my family of five, for chris has dozens of loves from his youth that he eagerly shares with our children today.  but if i were to re-create this cross-stitch, i don't think i'd choose fishermen to accompany the verse.  don't get me wrong; liam and chris have spent many an hour standing on the edge of the sound at the beach house, poles in hand, patiently waiting.  but i have a different image in mind.  MY re-creation would not have an image of fishing.  it would have an image of star wars.

oh, and one other change.  the father could stay the same, but instead of a boy, this father would be standing next to a girl.

yes, star wars mania has entered the mann household.  i knew it was only a matter of time; liam began receiving star wars-related birthday invitations within the last year, and as i peruse the aisles at target in search of gifts for his friends, i'm always amazed at how popular this movie series still is.  there are star wars lunch boxes, star wars t-shirts, and star wars legoes.  it's such a pervasive part of the preschool culture that the most popular halloween costume this past fall was luke skywalker.  or mr. spock.  one of those.

(forgive me for the mr. spock reference.  one of my sadistic pleasures in life is intentionally confusing star wars with star trek, just to drive chris crazy.  and ohmygoodness does it drive him crazy!  beam me up, scotty.)

but this is the funny thing: liam couldn't care less about star wars.  it's a wide-known fact that he hates movies, so it will come as no surprise that the first few times chris popped in one of the six DVDs from the star wars box set my brother gave us last christmas, liam immediately left the room in search of something more interesting.  but you know who stayed?  you know who watched the screen in admiration, eyes darting among the characters to choose a favorite?  you know who requested to watch another 10-minute snippet the next day, and the day after that?

yep.  susanna.

it's really quite sweet.  while chris and liam share dozens of interests -- most of them sports, whether playing them, watching them, or discussing them -- susanna and her daddy share this bond of star wars all to themselves.   chris's eyes danced as he began to introduce the characters to her.  (shocker: princess leia is her favorite.  but she's also partial to the ewoks and R2D2.)  he becomes animated as he explains the forces of good and evil as she at least pretends to follow along.  i know that he awaits the day, probably years from now, when she'll be old enough to watch the movies straight-through, sitting side-by-side with him on the couch as he re-lives the first time he saw them at the theater with his own father.

in the meantime, play-acting will have to suffice.  but even that's exciting, for chris ventured up to the attic last weekend to retrieve the star wars figurines he played with when he was a kid.  (they were in a box next to his 10,000+ baseball cards and GI Joes.)  i'm sure he always expected his son to take them over; but he's just as happy that his daughter is infatuated with them instead.  liam and i returned from the library to find chris and susanna crouched over her dollhouse, while obi-wan kenobi dined with dora the explorer over a meal prepared by han solo and barbie. 

i stopped outside her room this afternoon, watching her as she talked in the high-pitched voice she always uses when maneuvering her dolls and figurines around.  polly pocket was having a serious conversation with luke skywalker as she stood at the bottom of the plastic pink slide, apparently unsure that she could climb the steps to reach the top.  i couldn't help but smile as susanna ended their interaction.  "come on, polly," encouraged luke.  "you can do it!" 

and then, after a short pause, i heard the same six words that chris undoubtedly recited countless times himself when he was her age.  in her little singsong voice as she sat on the floor in her girly pink room, she clutched her daddy's 1970s luke skywalker figurine in her dimpled three-year old hands and said ...

"may the force be with you."

wordless wednesday

can a mother survive one day without feeling Mommy Guilt about something? my guilt du jour is the fact that five out of the past six posts have been about LIAM. and rather than incur the wrath of my younger sister -- whose most important job on this earth is to look out for her second-born niece -- i thought i'd devote today to All Things Susanna.

which sounded great. until i ran into a problem.  seems i don't actually have many recent pictures of susanna.

so, let guilt reign supreme. below are a few pictures of liam's and my trip down to atlanta, with a promise that i'll do my best to get some good photos of my darling daughter and share them with you next week.

bad, bad mommy.

liam spent a good 45 minutes poring over the safety manual.  if you're ever on a plane that goes down, call liam.  he can tell you exactly what to do.

 he had to wear my sunglasses to deal with the glare.  quite a glamorous take-off, if i do say so myself.

we visited the atlanta aquarium and liam was smitten with the beluga whales -- especially the male one. "he's named beethoven and is 15 feet long and 1800 pounds!" he explains each time he sees this photo.

i would be lying if i said that the plane ride, or the aquarium, or playing in centennial park was the highlight of our trip.  no, that honor goes solely to the wii at my aunt's house where we stayed.  liam spent quite some time creating "mii"s to resemble family members and friends.

and now i'm cleared of any Mommy Guilt, for here is the "mii" liam created (under my user name) of susanna! so -- whew. i do have a picture of susanna after all.

an Easter sacrifice

liam's preschool teacher, ms. kathy, sent the following e-mail to all of the parents in his class.  i was so touched that i thought i'd copy and paste it as its own special post.  happy Easter!

I was sitting in church on Palm Sunday. As our priest was talking about the spirit of sacrifice, I started to reflect on what happened during our Easter egg hunt, and I knew I HAD to share.

After we finished up our hunt we assembled to take a break, count our eggs, and give Ms. Lauren and me a moment to check that all the eggs had been found. While I was standing there, I noticed that Liam was frantically wiping away tears. I walked over to him and immediately asked him what was wrong. Lauren motioned for me to look in his basket, and I immediately realized the problem: there were only three eggs. Let's just say this ... some of the kids were extremely skilled in the art of egg gathering, and Liam was evidently up against some PROS!

I panicked and tried to think of ways to help bring balance to our world. My mind was going a million miles an hour, trying to figure how not to be obvious, wondering if the Robin Hood approach (do I rob from the "rich" and give to the "poor"?) would work.

But while I was figuring out what to do, I heard Essie ask Liam, "What's wrong?" She walked over, looked in his basket and immediately said, "HERE" and placed an egg in his basket. She was followed by Eliza, Henry, Harrison, Wade, Cooper and Kate. All dropping an egg into Liam's basket. No asking, no prompting, no negotiating, no discussion among themselves (or among their teachers) ... they acted like it was no big deal. Well, it was a VERY big deal! I was so proud! And the look on Liam's face while they were putting eggs in his basket is an expression that I just cannot describe.

It may not have been the type of sacrifice my priest was speaking of, but sacrifice is a very subjective concept. My babies made a very great sacrifice that moment. I pray that you are proud of their compassion, empathy, and the grace of their spirit -- I know that I am!

Happy Easter everyone, and may the spirit of Christ's sacrifice be with us all.

Love,
Ms. Kathy

wordless wednesday

on monday, liam and i flew down to atlanta on his very first plane ride.  neither the pilot nor co-pilot made it in time for departure, so liam was called to fill in last minute.  he got us there safe and sound, assisted by his right-hand Night Night, navigating from his lap.

april fools!  (i hope i didn't actually need to say that.)