lullabies

the kids are surprisingly non-competitive, for the most part, when it comes to getting stuff.  and by "stuff", i mean both tangibles and intangibles: food, praise, toys, attention, gifts, time.  they do want to make sure the each get the same number of cookies for dessert, but in all other areas, they have a pretty impressive grasp of the concept that it all comes out in the wash.

but a few weeks ago, as i left liam's room to go sing "oh susanna" to his sister, he looked up at me, glumly.  "why don't you have a liam song for me?" he asked.

i was about to launch into an explanation: there's a famous folk song with your sister's name in it and they even spell it correctly! ... i hadn't read all the sleep training books when you were born and didn't realize how important a routine was ... she's always been a terrible sleeper and she needed a soothing mechanism ... i knew that people throughout her life would break out into said song when they meet her and i wanted her to be familiar with the tune ... and so on.  i actually did have a list of good reasons as to why i did something i did.  (for once.) 

but i looked at his face and immediately switched gears.  "oh, sweetheart, i had no idea you wanted me to sing to you!"  i said, all the while thinking this child is almost seven and now he wants a lullaby?  "is there a song you'd like to hear?"

"the liam song," he replied. 

oh, right.  sure.  the liam song. 

"well, honey, there's not a famous song with 'liam' in it like there is for susanna.  BUT," sensing the inevitable disappointment that was beginning to creep across his face, "i could sing to you the lullaby that i made up while i nursed you when you were teeny-tiny.  would you like that?"  he nodded, excitedly, obviously unaware of how lame my made-up song was. 

so i had no choice but to launch into my "i love liam" song.  the tune is "frère jacques?" and the impressive lyrics go like this:  "i love liam / i love liam / yes i do / yes i do / he is a good bay-bee / i love him ve-ry much / liam mann / liam mann."

i braced myself for the feedback that i felt was warranted.  i mean, if it had been my mom singing crap like that to me, i probably would have responded with something along the lines of, "are you kidding me?  susanna gets a beautiful tune with a bridge, intrinsic rhymes, and a storyline with references to american history, and this is what i get?" but instead, he just beamed at me.  and then he asked for more.

"um, well, that's pretty much it," i told him.  "that's where the song ended."

"but susanna gets two verses in hers," he replied, thereby refuting what i deem true about my children's non-competitive natures.  "can't you make another one up for me?"

so i put on my thinking cap.  and this time, my creative juices obviously flowing, i whipped up a second stanza in three seconds flat:  "i love liam / i love liam / yes i do / yes i do / he is a good big boy/ i love him ve-ry much / liam mann / liam mann."  (just in case you didn't catch it, the lyrics change is in bold.)

he's apparently quite easy to please, for it was a hit, and we now have a new bedtime routine.  after prayers, i sing susanna her song, and then i cross the hall to sing liam his.  i've learned that it is not enough to sit at the foot of his bed and sing; he wants me close to him.  in fact, he reminds me that he likes to close his eyes and actually feel me breathe on his face while i form the words. 

and every night that i have the privilege of indulging him his sweet request, i can't help but stare at him as i sing.  his eyes are closed and he has the most serene smile on his still-soft, round face that each day is becoming less round and less soft.  i am instantly transported in my mind to the days when i first sang this song, as i rocked his tiny body in my arms after feeding him, his translucent eyelids fluttering as he drifted off to sleep.

and now, there he is, turning seven years old in a matter of months, a master of his multiplication tables, a budding soccer star, and a lover of the humor in knock-knock jokes.  a big boy, just like my newly revised lyrics say.  but still, in so many ways, my baby.

i love liam.  i love liam.  yes i do.