a party fit for a princess

this past sunday was an exciting one around here.  so exciting that susanna, our sleepyhead who has to be forced out of bed most mornings in time for school, actually got up on her own.  i awoke to see her standing right next to my side of the bed, beaming from ear to ear as she excitedly informed me, "today is my party!"  i probably would have joined her in jumping up and down if it weren't for the fact that it was only 5:45 a.m.

i'm ashamed to admit this, but i do not like birthday parties.  well -- i should be more specific.  i do like being invited to birthday parties, and going to them, and socializing, and eating the cake.  what i do not like is planning them.  the moment liam's is over in mid-august i heave a huge sigh of relief, knowing that it will be another eight or so months before i have to even think about planning another.

fortunately, i am married to a wonderful man who helps me plan these parties, choosing the themes and invitations and locations found a groupon with a great deal on a visit by a real-life princess at a children's party.  he sent me the link, and i didn't think twice before clicking that "buy now!" button.  done, i thought, proud of myself for having made this huge decision with months to spare.  cross that off my list.

but i soon realized that my decisions were just beginning.  when?  where?  will we serve a meal?  whom do we invite?  cake or cupcakes?  ice cream too?  and the most important question of all:  what princess?

i left that last question up to susanna.  i read out the list of options to her, which included all of her favorite disney stars.  ariel, snow white, tiana ... how could she possibly choose?  knowing her to normally be her mother's daughter, i braced myself for much second-guessing and changing-of-the-mind and debating the pros and cons of each.

but she surprised me.  "cinderella," she stated definitively.  "i want cinderella at my birthday party."  and that was that.

and so, a cinderella party was born.  the groupon deal included an hour of time with your princess, who would do an art activity with the girls, give them mini-makeovers, and read them a story.   and at 4:30 p.m. on sunday, fifteen preschool girls were in our driveway, all decked out in their own various princess costumes, squealing with delight at the sight of a real-life cinderella sashaying towards them.

let me tell you a little bit about this cinderella, with an upfront disclaimer that i'm probably a bit biased when it comes to real-life cinderellas.  the last time we saw cinderella in person, we were dining with her in her castle at disneyworld.  it was like she had leapt off the disney film reel and straight into our presence -- her hair was the perfect coif, her skin was the same creamy white, her dress was pristine, and her mannerisms were studied and exact.  i'd wager a guess that the cinderella in cinderella's castle in disneyworld has to be one of the top five cinderellas on planet earth.  that must be the pinnacle of princess pinnacles -- being offered that opportunity must announce to the princess stratosphere that you've really arrived.

unfortunately, that cinderella must have stayed in her castle in orlando, for she was definitely not the one who arrived at our house on sunday.  our cinderella -- the one sashaying down our driveway with the fifteen girls engulfing her -- was a tad different.  she had on a sort of neon yellow wig, slightly askew on the top of her head.  instead of a silky, genteel princess voice, hers was a bit rougher less refined. and when she turned and leaned down to talk to one of the girls, i could see her black bra peeking through a hole in her costume.  i half-expected her to grab a pack of cigarettes out of her goody bag and teach the kids how to blow smoke rings.

but right after making eye contact across the room with chris, and sharing a slight smile at what was before us, i looked around the room.  what i saw amazed me: thirty eyes staring adoringly at our cinderella, following her every move and bombarding her with questions.  "did you get here in your coach?"  "where is prince charming right now?"  "which other princess do you see the most?"  "where are your mice friends?"  as she patiently answered each one, they hung on her every word.  they were mesmerized.

and i realized that to susanna and her friends, this wasn't some twenty-year old working a part-time gig on the weekends for some extra cash, squeezing herself into a costume that was probably a bit too snug and wearing a wig that itched her scalp.  this was CINDERELLA.  and cinderella had actually come to susanna's party!  and she was going to help them make their own tiaras!  and she was going to dab some lip gloss on their mouths!  and she was going to read them a story!  CINDERELLA WAS IN THE HOUSE!

the two hours flew by.  while i remained on the porch, taking pictures of each guest with the star of the show, chris monitored the back yard while up to a dozen preschool girls ran around or swung in the hammock or played in the playhouse.  we somehow managed to feed them all lemonade and grapes and chicken nuggets (and ketchup, of course -- lots and lots of ketchup), and then sang to susanna while she blew out the candles on her cookie cake, and reuinted each guest with the tiara they had crafted when their parents picked them up.

as soon as the last little girl left, chris and i collapsed on the couch in the family room with cold beverages in hand, but barely enough energy to lift the glass to our lips.  we were exhausted.  fifteen giddy and lively five-year old girls will do that, i suppose.  my eyes took in what was around me, calculating how much time it would take to return the house to some semblance of order.  i made a mental note to a) find an alternate location for future children's birthday parties and b) severely decrease the guest list next time around.

but then my eyes rested on our daughter.  she was sitting on the floor, surrounded by unopened presents, still dressed in her cinderella costume with bright pink blush on her soft little cheeks.  "this is my most favorite day i have ever ever had," she told us.  "it was PERFECT.  and i still can't believe that cinderella came to my party!"  she beamed at us, her blue eyes dancing, as happy as i'd ever seen her.

i think that just about sums up parenthood.  the work, the expense, the energy, the time, the chaos ... we do it all for moments like this, when your child tells you that she's just had the best day of her life, and how she'll remember it forever and always.  i don't doubt that she will; she'll surely have a picture of her and her friends with cinderella hanging in her room for a long time to come.  she'll remember the makeover and the story and the cake, and will probably wear the tiara she made until it falls apart.

but what i pray is that she also remembers the most important part of her special day: the love and joy that surrounded her.  for it's the knowledge of that love, and the confidence that comes from knowing how loved you are, that can get you through just about anything.  i strive to instill in my children that knowledge and that confidence through all that i do as their parent -- whether it's having meaningful talks about God, or playing hopscotch in the driveway.  i fail a lot, don't get me wrong.  but i keep at it, realizing that it's not enough to just tell them i love them.  what matters most is how i show them.

which might, on occasion, include throwing an over-the-top party with a cinderella whose black bra is showing.