making no cents

this sunday, liam received a twenty dollar bill from my parents in a card as a present for his first communion.  his eyes grew wide; i honestly don't know that he's ever received that much cash at one time before.  knowing how his brain works, i bet he was calculating how long it would take him to earn that much with his allowance, and arriving at the conclusion that this, for sure, was a windfall.  i told him that since it was a gift, he was free to spend it however he saw fit -- but that he needed to really think about his priorities and what would be a smart purchase.

so on monday, right before he and i went to play tennis, he announced that he wanted to buy a tennis hat in our pro shop.  not a toy, not a book, not a wii game.  he wanted to spend his money on a hat. which might not be a terrible choice IF HE DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE ABOUT 20 BASEBALL CAPS IN HIS CLOSET.   "andy roddick wears baseball caps when he plays, and he's a pro!"  i told him.  "don't you think you could just wear one of those, instead of a special tennis hat?"  but his mind was made up.

which makes this parenting thing so hard ... how do you watch your child make a stupid decision and sit back, silent?  but i bit my tongue and resolved to let him make this mistake on his own. so we stopped by the pro shop and looked through the selection.  he tried a few on, chose the one he liked -- and then looked at the price tag.  he looked up at me in shock.  "eighteen dollars for a hat?" he asked, incredulously.

"well, it's actually more than nineteen, once you add on tax," i told him.  "so you'd have less than a dollar left."

he paused.  he stared at the hat, and then his twenty dollar bill, and then the price tag.  his eyes darted back and forth between them as he made a very difficult decision.  and then ... then he placed the hat back on the shelf.  "i think that's too much money," he said.  "forget it.  let's go play."

it's moments like this that i think -- wow!  we're doing something right.  somewhere along the way, my son has learned the value of a dollar. he's learned what's important to spend his money on, and when it's important to save.  maybe we sort of know what we're doing after all.

but no good parenting moment lasts forever.  sadly, this one lasted only a few hours.  that evening,  the nightly discussion ensued about showering; neither kid wanted to bathe because they were not dirty.  (you know, even though they both had field day all day at school and were outside in the hot sun and in the dunking booth and then both played tennis and then both played baseball outside for an hour after that, they were NOT dirty.)

selfishly, i left this battle to be decided upstairs under the watchful eye of chris while i cleaned the kitchen after dinner.  soon enough, i heard the water start, and shortly thereafter, susanna waltzed downstairs in her pajamas, with clean skin and wet hair.  "guess what, mommy!"  she exclaimed, holding out something in her hand.  "i just earned fifty cents!"

fifty cents, to susanna, is a windfall.  "that's awesome, sweetheart.  what did you do to earn that?"

"liam wanted me to take my shower first, so he paid me."

yep.  our son gave our daughter the equivalent of two days' worth of his allowance so he could delay his shower by ten minutes.  maybe we sort of know what we're doing after all?  oh how i make myself laugh.  or cry. one of those.