doggone it

for two straight years our pediatrician has declared liam to be the worst case of seasonal allergies that has darkened her doorway.  hacking cough, runny nose, watery eyes ... come early spring, he is miserable. 

so i finally took him to an allergist, who conducted a series of tests on his sweet little back.

we figured he had to share chris's allergy of cats, but other than that, we didn't know what to expect.  now we wonder no more.  in no particular order, poor liam is allergic to the following: white birch, red cedar, hickory, white oak, bahia, bermuda, fescue, kentucky blue, cocklebur, english plantain, lambs quarters, ragweed mix, rough pigweed, alternaria, stemphlyium, tree mix, grass mix, and weed mix.  (cat, ironically, was one of the few that did not make the list.)  whew.  good thing we don't have any of those around us.  oh!  and i neglected to mention one last one.  dog.

ever the skeptic, i tried to shrug off the dog thing.  "we've had a dog ever since we brought liam home from the hospital," i told the doctor.  "surely if he really had a problem, we'd be seeing signs."

"oh, there are definite signs," the doctor replied.  "i knew just by looking at him that there was a non-seasonal issue going on."  he pointed out the area under liam's eyes and proceeded to explain what dennie-morgan folds are.  (interested?  click here.) 

"well, i don't think we're quite ready to get rid of the pooch," i said.  "so what do we need to do?"

"the good news is, liam's dog allergy isn't nearly as severe as the others.  so i would just maybe ramp up the number of baths you give your dog. that will go a long way."

please, i thought, trying to telepathically instill silence into my children.  please don't admit to this medical professional that you have never seen us give super a bath.

liam was apparently not tuned into my same telepathic channel.  "mommy, i don't think we've ever --"

i interrupted him and turned back to the doctor.  "well, you see, we have a boxer.  she's short-haired and i've read that they have sensitive skin ..." i trailed off.

"i'm sure you can find some mild shampoo," he replied.  "or, really, just water is fine, if you don't mind smelling a wet dog."

this made me feel better -- no soap was necessary.  "you know, boxers are funny.  they're like cats; they really lick themselves clean.  so i honestly think we're okay."

"actually," said mr. smarty-pants-doctor-who-had-a-response-for-everything, "saliva is where most of the allergens are located.  so that's probably making it worse."

oh.  crud.

we walked out of the office a few minutes later, armed with a boatload of information and a plan.  liam will begin allergy shots that will continue for the next five years, weekly for the first year and tapering off slowly after that.  we will also track down some special, very likely expensive, dog shampoo (since, call me crazy, i do mind smelling a wet dog) and introduce super to the wonderful concept of baths.

and somehow, we will teach our senior citizen canine, who has never even mastered how to freakin' sit, to buck her genetic tendency to self-clean. 

you want me to do what?

what's that phrase about teaching an old dog new tricks?