seeing red

motherhood.  it's not for the faint of heart.

we had just sat down for our sunday supper -- homemade white chicken chili and cornbread since it had only reached 33 degrees today -- when liam clutched his stomach.  "i don't feel right," he said.  i suggested he go upstairs and rest for a bit.  "i'll be sure to get the trash can from the bathroom," he said as he left, but i doubted he would need it.  i mean, how often do children complain about upset tummies and then a few minutes later they're fine?  all the time, right?

well, not all the time.  sometimes it turns into something more.  which i realized, as soon as i heard the scream.  "I'M THROWING UP, MOMMY!"

i dropped my spoon and sprinted upstairs, with chris on my heels.  we rounded the corner at the top of the stairwell to find liam standing, dazed, in the hallway, still vomiting.  i ran to him, almost engulfing him as i yanked him toward the bathroom, my shirt immediately soaked.

i will spare you the details, but just know that this continued, off and on, for three straight hours.*  just when we thought that SURELY he was done, that there was nothing left in his poor sick body, we'd hit yet another round.

the first chance i got to extract myself from the bathroom (and change my shirt), i assessed the damage.  it was like nothing i had ever seen before.  no surface was left untouched -- sheets, pillow, blanket, comforter, sham, bedframe, carpet, walls, hallway, sink, toilet, bathroom floor, bathtub.  if there were an olympic competition in retroperistalsis (confused?  this is one of the many things we've learned so far in 3rd grade science while studying the muscular system ... look here if interested), liam would surely be a gold medalist.

but wait -- as they say in infomericals -- there's more!  because not only was the majority of our upstairs now covered with vomit ... but it was BRIGHT RED vomit.  honestly -- and i'm not stretching the truth here even a little bit -- it looked like a crime scene.

this is probably about 5% of the total ... the other pictures would have totally grossed you out

my eyes widened as i took it all in.  a bright red bodily function normally means only one thing.  but before i got too far into my freaking-out mode, chris looked up from where he was scrubbing the carpet.  "it's not blood," he sighed.  "it's a red doughnut.  he had a freakin' red doughnut at Y Guides this afternoon."

it's still too early to call it, but i predict liam will be back to normal tomorrow.  he'll be staying home with me on another 33-degree day, finishing up his school project and undoubtedly ravenous since he completely emptied his stomach tonight.

but i guarantee you this: he won't be eating anything red.

our sweet firstborn, spending the night on the bathroom floor ... 
just in case

* edited on monday: make that seven hours, off and on, culminating in a totally soiled sleeping bag at 3 a.m.  "spot clean only" the label says.  i would have to laugh if it weren't so sad.

** edited on saturday: liam was kind enough to share the love.  i came down with it on wednesday morning, and spend 36 straight hours either vomiting or sleeping.  three words: worst. thanksgiving. ever.