why i teach

i haven't really written much about my job this year, mostly because it's kind of hard to explain.  in fact, after i mention that i work, conversations often go like this:

inquisitive person: "what do you do?"

me: "i teach high school math."

I.P.: "where?"

me:  "out of my guest room, actually.   online."

I.P.:  "how does that work?"

and then this is where the conversation kind of falls apart, because unless you actually see it in action, it's hard to describe.  but i'll try.  our school system has equipped ten of us with a laptop and our own blackboard webpage, which is an asynchronous site my students can access whenever they wish.  i load homework assignments, quizzes, projects, tests, powerpoint presentations, and video tutorials (made my our textbook publisher, not by me, thankfully) and the kids can submit their work to me. 

i was also given a webcam, writing tablet, and headset, which come into play for our live class, which i teach monday through thursday afternoons for a little over an hour a day.  my students (my roster is now upwards of 30) log on at 2:45 wearing their own headsets, and together, we navigate the pre-algebra curriculum, working on problems on what we call the "e-board" and going through concepts that should be familiar to them but often are not.  i spend countless hours finding super cool (at least, i think so) websites that help teach these concepts in fun or interesting ways.  there are lots of free games and applets out there that help make things as interactive as possible.

it's worth mentioning that this program, which began this year, serves the school system's population of long-term suspended students.  in other words, my clientele is made up of students who have been expelled from school, having done something so serious that they are not allowed back into a brick-and-mortar building until next fall.  it's my job to keep them motivated, keep them educated, and keep them attending class.  no easy feat, considering that most of them really don't like learning to begin with.  it's been especially challenging for me, since my nine years of previous experience involved teaching at affluent schools with highly motivated kids and involved families.  i had whatever supplies i needed, and support from my administration, fellow faculty members, and parents.  when that kind of foundation, forging relationships with my students and inspiring them came rather easily.  this job is far from that.  i've learned way more about the bloods and the crips gangs than i ever thought i would.  i don't even ask what my students did to get into this spot they're in because i really don't want to know, but i'm pretty sure many of them were arrested for weapons or drugs or violence.  and when i have to cajole many of them to turn in even one morsel of work, i often find myself wondering if what i'm doing is actually making a difference.  i've asked myself on more than one occasion, what is the point of this?  why do i teach?

so after this long lead-in, i'm finally getting around to the point of this post.  i have a student who joined our class in late march.  we were conversing back and forth in the private text box, and she mentioned that she might be missing class for a little while in mid-april.  "my due date is april 10," she wrote.

i'm certainly no proponent of teenage motherhood, but my number one goal is to reach these kids on any level i can.  so i asked her if there was anything she needed; we have tons of baby stuff still stored away in our attic that i'd be happy to give her.  she thanked me, but said she was all set with the items she still had from when her two-year old was born.  which means that she became a mother at the tender age of fourteen.

wow.

we were off for a week for spring break, and the first day back, there she was, logged in at 2:45 and ready to start.  i typed to her, asking if she had had her baby.  "i'm being induced at 6 pm today," she replied.  i wished her a healthy delivery and figured i might not see her again for a while.

but the next day, at 2:45, i actually did a double-take when i saw her username pop up on the screen.  sure enough, there she was -- laptop by her side in her hospital bed, newborn sleeping in a crib next to her.  and while many of my kids have the tendency to log in at the beginning and then wander off for much of the class, she was with me the whole time, participating, even volunteering to solve a proportion problem on the e-board.

as we finished the class that afternoon, i spoke with her over our headsets.  "i'm so impressed that you were here today," i told her.  "i can't believe you had a baby less than 24 hours ago and still managed to show up from your hospital room and participate and do the classwork."

"oh miz mann," she replied, "i need this.  i need to finish high school.  i got to show my kids that school's important.  i don't want them making the same mistakes i made.  and i know i don't do that good in math, but i'm trying hard.  i'm learning.  i'm doing the best i can."

and that -- well, that is why i teach.